The family is the essential cell of society, the basic building block of civilization. Without the family there can be no well-ordered society. In this 21st Century, there are evil, perverse, and dangerous enemies who want to attack society, and they know the straightest line to their objective is to get to the family. You destroy the family; you annihilate the culture. So, if we agree that the family is in crisis today, can we come up with a way to save it?
Since it takes a rare person to start an organization, get elected to a government office, or make a giant difference in the world through some massive, nationwide, or worldwide action, how about starting small, yet also smart, in the effort to save the family? Simply save your own family. And the fundamental way to achieve this? Pray together as a family.
“The family that prays together, stays together” may be a corny slogan, but it’s true. Whether it’s the praying you all do at Mass, praying the Rosary as a family, saying nighttime prayers at your children’s bedsides, or saying grace as a family before dinner, prayer is the fundamental act that must be undertaken if there is to be any positive affect to take place for a struggling family. A primary trait that distinguishes any ol’ family from a family seeking to live the authentic Catholic/Christian difference in their daily lives is that latter family prays together.
An easy initial way to start your family praying together is to pray grace at dinner. Right before you dig-in to the delicious home-cooked meal or the take-out pizza, outwardly give thanks to God for the little blessings that have occurred over the last 24 hours since you spoke to Him at your last family dinner. What is so great about your family saying grace is you can tailor your version so that everyone gets to add in something. Here’s an example:
- Mom or dad can begin by leading everyone in making the Sign of the Cross and then saying,”Dear Lord, we thank you for this time our family is together. I am especially grateful for…”
- Then mom or dad states one thing that he/she is thankful for, and each person around the table adds a similar sentence – “Thank you God for…” or “I am grateful for…”
- Grace ends with the entire family saying,”Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, from Christ our Lord, Amen.”
Getting in the habit of your family saying Grace before meals is a good way to remind yourselves that everything we have comes ultimately from God. Bonus points if you become a family who says grace quietly yet publicly at a restaurant after your waitress serves you your food. What a terrific witness you and your kids will be to other diners.
I’m sure some of you feel overwhelmed with this simple suggestion because how can you envision saying grace together when your family rarely eats dinner together. The modern family with elementary-age and high school-age kids seem to be going their separate ways most evenings, with dad not yet home from working out at the gym, mom on the road picking up the younger daughter after gymnastics practice, and the older son hanging out at a friend’s house after football practice. In this situation of a family who finds themselves rarely eating dinner together at the home dining table, my suggestion is you sit down as a family on a weekly basis, such as Sunday night, to calendar the upcoming week’s family schedule and firmly resolve there will be at least a few, specific nights of the week when everyone will be required to be home to eat dinner together as a family.
Did you know there are decades of multiple studies which show that family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and eating disorders, and higher rates of resilience and self-esteem in both the parents and the kids? It’s true, which is why literally forcing all the members of your family to be home from dinner as many evenings as possible is a fight worth having. Adding a family grace into the equation makes this nightly ritual a most powerful way to enrich your family.
Besides praying grace nightly, there are prayers and family blessings that should be built into your daily life – when you and your kids awake each morning, when you leave the house for school, when you are at Mass, and before you go to sleep. The following prayers will help your children learn to talk to and listen to God while being reminded of how He is always with them, and how much He loves and cares for them. You can find the full wording for these prayers, some of which have alternative forms, by doing a search online:
The Sign of the Cross
The Sign of the Cross is the most basic Catholic prayer, though we don’t often think of it that way. Some kids get intrigued by telling them they can choose how many fingers to use when making this holy gesture. They can choose to make the sign of the cross while using all five fingers, representing the five wounds of Christ. (Note: How about quizzing your family members to see who can list where the five wounds of Christ were when he was crucified?) Some people purposely use only three fingers when making the sign, representing the Holy Trinity. You can also tell your children that they can choose to use just one finger, remembering the words Catholics profess in the Nicene Creed: “I believe in one God, the Father almighty…I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God…” Whatever ritual is chosen – using one, three, or five fingers – when your kids get a say in this they better realize the unique purpose of why they are making the sign of the cross.
The Our Father
We should pray the Our Father daily with our children either in the morning or when going to bed. Have your kids in the habit of saying this prayer when washing their hands with soap and water at various times during the day. It ensures they will take their time to wash instead of just running water over their hands for a few seconds after using the bathroom or before eating.
The Hail Mary
One useful technique for teaching the Hail Mary is for you to recite the first part of the prayer (through “…the fruit of thy womb, Jesus”) and then have your children respond with the second part (“Holy Mary…”). Take turns so that your kids get to recite the first part at times, and you have to follow in response, as it will make them feel more like a leader of prayer.
The Glory Be
The Glory Be is a very simple prayer that any child who can make the Sign of the Cross can easily memorize. In fact, you can sort of kill two birds with one stone by teaching to recite the Glory Be simultaneously when one is also making the Sign of the Cross gestures.
The Morning Offering
There are various versions of this prayer that you can find online. You can even reword one yourself to create a simplified version specific to your family that is easy for your kids to memorize. For example, these simple two sentences could be considered a Morning Offering prayer: “Thank you, God, for giving us this day. Help us to be like Jesus in all we think, do, and say.” A Morning Offering prayer makes for a terrific way to start the day at the breakfast table, when brushing teeth after breakfast, or on the way to school in the car.
The Act of Contrition
The Act of Contrition, which is the essential prayer your child will need to memorize when training for his or her first Sacrament of Confession, should be encouraged for your child to say every evening before going to sleep. It’s a quick examination of conscience that helps summarize how the day went and sets up a clean start to the next day.
Apostle’s Creed
Serving as a shorter version of the Nicene Creed, which is the one we all say at Mass, the Apostle’s Creed is a succinct summary of what we Catholics believe. You’ll eventually want to have it memorized to make it easier for when you pray it to begin the Rosary.
Memorare
This is a comforting type of prayer that helps you and your kids realize they have a so-called second mother in heaven.
Prayer of St. Francis
You might want to have this prayer handy for having the children say out loud after there was a fight with siblings.
St. Michael Prayer
Kids like a prayer that tells them there are good angels on their side to protect them.
The Guardian Angel Prayer
Cultivating a belief in a guardian angel when your children are young will help protect them from skepticism later on.
Prayer for Eternal Rest (The Requiem Prayer)
This prayer is commonly said at a Catholic funeral or upon learning of the death of someone. It’s important for your family to talk openly about death and the life cycle, and knowing this prayer is a good way to provide assurance to young and inquisitive minds that there is a heavenly afterlife available to those who love God.
Mom and dad praying together with son and daughter as a matter of a daily routine not only assists parents in passing on their Catholic faith to their kids, but it fosters family unity. Jesus told us, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). Make prayer a priority in your family’s life and you’ll be making Our Lord more obviously present in your home. You will then be able to honestly display the following saying on a plaque somewhere in your home:
A PRINCIPAL'S PRINCIPLES FOR PARENTING 