Although it is thought by many to be a virtuous practice only during the Lenten season, Catholics can actually participate year-round in almsgiving – the giving of money or goods to those in need. The Catechism defines almsgiving an act of fraternal charity directed towards our brothers and sisters in Christ, and a work of justice pleasing to God. It is pleasing because when one participates in it, he or she is not just helping others but is also fighting the evils of materialism, consumerism, greed, and gluttony.
Almsgiving is a perfect habit to be undertaken as a family with children as part of the practice. One simple action is for the family to follow a ‘get one-give one’ rule when buying or being gifted with new clothes and toys. If mom or dad goes out and buys a new jacket, a used jacket in good condition from the closet is donated to the St. Vincent de Paul Society. If son or daughter is gifted with a new toy, one old toy from the toy box needs to be donated to a community toy drive. This not only cuts down on materialism and consumerism, but helps everyone realize how there are less fortunate people in society who need assistance.
Another fundamental practice of almsgiving is to donate money to charities. Parents can model for their children how they tithe to the church by dropping a giving envelope in the basket at Mass or explain to their kids how auto-payments are made monthly to their parish. In turn, assuming their children get an allowance and/or payment for completed chores, parents could help their elementary school through high school-age youngsters determine what they themselves might want to take from their piggy-bank savings and place into the collection basket each Sunday or even just one Sunday per month.
Giving allowances to their kids is one way parents can teach their sons and daughters about money – from the importance of saving to the need to be virtuous in how the money is spent or donated. One recent survey showed that 79% of American parents give their children allowances, with the overwhelming majority of these moms and dads saying their kids have to “earn it.”
This “earned” payment is typically accomplished when the young ones complete chores. In some families, completing a weekly list of simple, expected chores is all that is needed for this compensation, while in other families the payment only is given for more substantial chores that go above and beyond. For example, placing one’s dirty clothes in the hamper should be done merely as a responsible, run-of-the-mill act not deserving of getting a dollar for doing so. Whereas, kids who complete more difficult or unpleasant chores such as cleaning the toilet or pulling weeds might deserve a few bucks.
Some families make a list of age-appropriate chores for their children that look something like the following conglomeration of listings I gathered from various parenting websites. The ones marked with asterisks* are chores that are may be worthy of being connected with pay due to their higher level of effort/expertise necessary.
Ages 2-3
- Put toys away in toybox
- Throw trash away
- Fetch diapers and wipes
- Place dirty clothes in hamper
Ages 4-5 (all the chores above plus these below)
- Feed pets
- Wipe up spills
- Make the bed
- Empty the silverware from the dishwasher
- Prepare simple snacks
Ages 6-7 (all the chores above plus these below)
- Fold clean towels
- Empty the entire dishwasher
- Match socks from the dryer
- Rake leaves*
- Make salad for the family dinner
- Carrying in and putting away the groceries
Ages 8-9 (all the chores above plus these below)
- Load the dishwasher
- Hang/fold clean clothes
- Spray off patio/porch*
- Sweep hardwood floors
- Clean countertops
- Walk the dog
- Scramble eggs and bake cookies
- Pull weeds*
Ages 10-11 (all the chores above plus these below)
- Vacuum carpeted floors
- Clean the bathroom
- Take out the trash; pull the garbage cans to/from the curb
- Prepare simple meals
- Bake bread
- Mow the lawn*
Ages 12+ (all the chores above plus these below)
- Wash/vacuum the car*
- Do their own laundry entirely by themselves
- Cook a complete dinner for the family
- Wash windows*
- Iron clothes
- Babysit siblings/neighborhood kids*
Assigning children chores not only teaches them responsibility and the virtue of helping others, but also instills self-confidence and prepares them for their future adult lives. One helpful tip is for mom and dad to not start too late in assigning their boys and girls chores. As the example lists above show, even a two-year-old can be expected to accomplish a few things on a daily basis. Another tip regarding chores is to make them easy to understand and follow, such as creating picture-chore-cards for toddlers and pre-readers. In addition, it could be helpful to keep the chore schedules for younger children consistent for a week or month at a time, so the tasks can more easily become habit-forming.
A strong suggestion for parents is to not expect perfection, lest your young ones will more likely rebel. If a child finishes a chore that is less than acceptable due to laziness or haphazard work, a parent can turn this into a teaching moment by gently showing the correct way.
One final tip is to remember to give the child both a smile and a verbal “thank you” when the chore is completed. In addition, for the littlest tykes, the addition of stickers and a chore chart might prove to be a great motivator, with the youngster getting to be the one who sticks stickers on the chart at the completion of each chore. Some parents have a fun, little reward ready when an entire week’s or month’s chore chart is filled up with stickers.
For older kids – who are notorious for labeling the things parents have them do as “boring!” – their parents have to work at helping these preteens and teens realize how much their efforts are appreciated and how families work best when they work together with everyone playing his or her part. And if reasoning with these adolescents doesn’t seem to work, that’s where the age-old practice of withholding use of driving the family car or the new-age practice of withholding use of the smart phone might need to be enacted.
Communicating the importance of almsgiving and chores will teach children how work and charity positively impact one’s heart, soul, and body. Recall Saint Paul’s words to Christian households:
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord… Whatever your task, work heartily, as serving the Lord and not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:20; 23-24)
A PRINCIPAL'S PRINCIPLES FOR PARENTING 