Balancing the Lenten Season with Three Legs

Catholics have traditionally referred to praying, fasting, and almsgiving as the “pillars” of Lent. You can also think of these three actions as creating the “three-legged stool” of the Lenten season.

A stool with only one or two legs won’t be stable enough to support anything. You need at least three legs, all of similar lengths and solidity, or else the stool will be wobbly and quickly collapse. This perfect balance of a three-legged stool is what one should strive for when creating a perfect Lenten season.

Most Catholic families put emphasis on the first day of Lent – Ash Wednesday – making sure to attend Mass as a family, to get ashes on their foreheads, to abstain from eating meat, and to fast for much of that day. That’s all well and good, but it must not stop there. 

Lest their children think the praying, fasting, and almsgiving are just for one day, it is important that parents participate the entire season of Lent in all three legs of the Lenten stool. For the approximately 39 days that follow Ash Wednesday, all the way up until when the Sacred Triduum begins on Holy Week, moms and dads should set up a Lenten plan that includes regular praying, fasting, and almsgiving.

Praying Ideas

Beginning with the first leg of the stool – praying – families might want to consider incorporating some of these ideas:

• Read a little each day from a biography of a Saint;
• Commit to praying one to five decades of the Rosary every day;
• Begin each day praying a “Morning Offering” and/or end each day praying a “Daily Examen”;
• Read a brief section of the Bible each day and contemplate what God is saying to you; Here is one example is a daily plan to follow for daily Bible reading during Lent;
• Attend a Stations of the Cross service each Friday; this can be done in-person at your parish or virtually online.

Fasting Ideas

The second leg of the Lenten stool is fasting. The Church requires Catholics ages 18 through 59 to fast on only two days – Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. The other requirement is for all Catholics beginning at age 14 to abstain from meat on all Fridays of Lent. Parents should consider upping these minimal directives in one or more of the following ways:

• Fast on every Friday of the Lenten season, not just on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday;
• Fast from one major food every day of Lent, such as all desserts or all breads;
• Fast on a daily basis by making one simple sacrifice, such as only drinking water instead of sodas or juices, only drinking black coffee with no cream or sugar, or never salting your food.
• Consider fasting to also pertain to abstaining from actions that don’t involve eating or drinking, such as fasting from listening to any music or podcasts when driving in the car or fasting from scrolling social media from dinner through bedtime. 

Almsgiving Ideas

For the past number of decades, American Catholics have been told the best way to give alms during Lent is to participate in “Operation Rice Bowl.” This is Catholic Relief Services’ program that collects cash for supporting families experiencing hunger around the world. But I implore Catholics to not participate in anything run by Catholic Relief Services.

Catholic Relief Services supports many programs that run contrary to Catholic teaching. They financially support an abortion-promoting organization. They promote condom distribution and other contraception in third-world countries. They endorse masturbation instead of chastity as a method for preventing sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancies. These and other abuses from Catholic Relief Services are detailed here.

So families should avoid participating in Catholic Relief Services’ “Operation Rice Bowl” and instead try one of these almsgiving actions:

• Clean out the house as a family, and have everyone donate excess clothes and toys to a charity that helps the less fortunate, such as St. Vincent de Paul;
• Buy baby items, such as formula and diapers, and donate them to a local pregnancy resource center or crisis pregnancy center;
• Call an elderly extended-family member or friend who is “a shut-in” and provide some company;
• Increase your stewardship commitment to your parish.

Take Advantage of the Lenten Season

A family choosing to balance on a solid, three-legged stool during Lent is a beneficial way for mom, dad, and the kids to all strengthen their relationships with God. The Church gives us the Lenten Season as an opportunity to take time to raise our awareness and appreciation of the tremendous sacrifice Jesus made for us on Good Friday. In a way, we are invited to go into the desert for 40 days as Jesus did. Fortunately, we can bring along a three-legged stool for support.