God Is Waiting for You to Approach Him – Part 2

When Catholics partake in the Sacrament of Confession they are both acknowledging and praising the holiness of God and His loving mercy.

Whereas one might be able to see Confession as a wonderful opportunity of experiencing God’s mercy, one might still be hesitant to receive the Sacrament. This can be due to feeling embarrassment over the amount or type of sins to confess or feeling shame to have to admit it’s been many years since one’s last confession. In addition, there can be uneasiness about not remembering the steps to take in making a good Confession. 

Part 2 in this series offers some directions and tips for Catholics who haven’t been to Confession (aka the Sacrament of Reconciliation or Penance) for a long while. The following information might hopefully ease their minds and encourage them to get themselves in the confessional booth as soon as possible.

It Is God to Whom You Are Confessing

The first advice is to not think of Reconciliation as confessing humiliating secrets to another person. Instead, you should think of it as sincerely and humbly bringing your darkness into the light. Sinners need to be pulled from their darkness into the Light of Christ. To confess their sins is to show their desire to walk in the Light. You may be talking to a man of the cloth, but actually you are admitting to your Almighty Father all the choices you made that kept you in the dark and kept you from loving Him and His people. 

Through the suffering, death, and resurrection of His Son, God forgives us and restores our relationship with Him. People in confessional booths are naming their sins aloud to their Creator and Savior. The priest is merely acting like a conduit. 

Don’t Be Embarrassed

You do not have to be ashamed to reveal that it’s been like forever since your last Confession. The priest – and the Lord – will actually be thrilled that you’ve returned! Also to ease your mind, the priest has heard everything. You do not need to worry about stating sins that will feel too humiliating, such as ones of a sexual nature or that divulge your weaknesses.

Not only has the priest heard similar types of sins confessed on a weekly basis, but he will forget what you tell him right after he absolves you of your sins and you leave the confessional. Many people worry that their particular sins are so unique that they will be alarming for the clergy to hear. But every priest has heard hundreds of similar confessed sins. Plus, God gives priests a special grace to forget. Priests will tell you that they don’t remember the specific who and what they heard in the confessional the week prior, or perhaps even the hour prior.

Even if you can get over the unnecessary uneasiness with confessing your sins, for those for whom it has been a while since their last confession there is some guidance in re-participating in this special Sacrament.

You may not want to go to Confession during your parish’s regularly scheduled weekly times if you might need more time allotted since you have multiple years’ worth of sins to declare. Know that you can always contact the priest or parish office and ask to set up a private time for Confession on some other day of the week.

Additionally, although some parishes offer face-to-face Confessions, you always have the option of the traditional, anonymous, behind-a-screen Confession. This latter form is recommended if it better helps the senses to only hear a voice on the other side of the screen. For many it can feel awkward to share their most intimate struggles with a “stranger” but feel relaxing to simply talk to Jesus. 

Examination of Conscience

When you use a good examination of conscience resource, you’ll be able to better identify and recall your sins. Some good examination lists can be found here:

• V-Catholic.com
• PadrePeregrino.org
• FathersOfMercy.com
• SpiritualDirection.com

It is vital to prepare before going to your Confession by examining your conscience during a time of quiet retrospection. Thus, take time prior to entering the confessional booth or confessional room to think about your sins since your last Confession. If the list is long, it is practical to write them down on paper or type them on your smart phone and bring this list with you. 

The Steps to Confess

There is a certain script in what you will want to say in Confession that assists the priest. Start out by telling him about your anonymous-self:

• Tell him your age;
• Tell him your state in life, for example, “I’m a married man with two teenagers” or “I’m a single, college student.”
• Tell him how long it’s been since your last Confession. For this last part, it’s fine to be general if you don’t remember the exact years. You could say, “It’s been at least twenty years since my last Confession.”

You have then reached the main part of stating your sins. Be as specific as possible about the type of sin and how often you committed it, without going in-depth. Instead of generalizing such as, “I’ve been mean,” be specific such as, “I’ve yelled at my spouse on a weekly basis” or “I got in a physical fight with my brother three times.”  However, to respect the priest’s time, there is no need to describe the issue that caused the yelling or fighting. 

Mortal sins must always be confessed in the Sacrament since these are the major sins that put you at odds against God. Examples could include having sexual relations when not married, seriously wishing evil upon someone, or deliberately missing Sunday Mass. 

It is optional to list venial sins as well when you go to Confession. These types of sins could include using vulgar language, dressing immodestly, or gossiping. 

End by Saying an Act of Contrition

The Act of Contrition is what you recite after you confess your sins. If you forgot how to pray this, no worries! You can have this handy on your phone, but most likely the  confessional area itself will have the Act of Contrition posted in plain sight for penitents to use. There are a few options for the wording, with any of them fine to use.

Typically, you would spend time in the church immediately after you depart from the confessional. This is to take a minute to thank God for His mercy and to complete the penance the priest gave you if it was in the form of praying, such as saying an Our Father and a Hail Mary. 

Schedule Your Next Time on Your Calendar

Finally, you do not want to let too much time take place between your next Confession. Once a month or no longer than once every two months is highly recommended for a Reconciliation schedule. Of course, if a mortal sin pops up sooner, go as soon as possible.

Think of it similar to having a wound that regularly needs cleaning and re-dressing, lest it becomes infected. When you return to Confession on a regular basis you keep your spiritual wounds clean and your soulful infections at bay. 

When you leave the confessional you experience so much joy and peace as you realize your sins are gone and your relationship with God is reconciled. It can be quite the emotion to recognize God was waiting for you to approach Him and amend your relationship with Him. All you had to do was open your heart to Him, and let Him set things right.